The five boons


The day I wont forget ever,

The day I have been in seven heavens…

What a day was it!

Nobody would have experienced such a day, life…


One day (you men of little faith ,go away )the god appeared before me .

What was his color? you would ask.

No ,god doesn’t have any colour

I can authoritatively tell

For who among the poor and under informed has seen God,

the god in his splendor?


He was blue, blue as the sky

With a slight tinge of yellow.

Whiteness was his colour

He was standing before me as a cloud

No ,a cloud of heat .

Strange vapors coloured the sky, the sky itself was an illusion.


“I am god”, he told me.

“Days have come when even magicians are assuming the name of god “I told him sarcastically .

Do you not believe in me? “he asked

No my god died young”, I parodied a popular book`s name


He never wanted to impose on me.

Like a politician intended to bribe the voter, he smiled at me and asked me about my home address .

“if you are god, why such questions?” I asked him


It was evening. The crowd was still lingering there at the beverage shop. Red flags were marching to some martyr’s tomb.

He got annoyed

“In Kerala everybody is a communist ,“He told me

No We are leftist “

Barabbas …he exclaimed





Suddenly it happened

I membered the day in Gagultha

Was I in in the right or left

In that pain I forget all .


I was a happy man then

I was freed by the Roman procurator Pontius Pilate

They wanted Jesus to be crucified .So the barter offer was rejected and I become a free man again.

The problem was nobody would believe me

Once a thug ,always a thug.

I had no other option but to steal again

Again  I was brought before Pilate

He asked me. Why have you not bartered your self for Jesus

I said ,I thought you wanted it to be so

Don’t politicize, boy

Rome knows how to deal with infidels, he said


His hands were so pure with no blood as he wished

The king can do no wrong he said

I know

The slaves were  committing treachery..

He called me several names in Latin. Since bad words doesn’t need a lexicon I understood what he meant.


I knew my days were numbered


I have consulted a famous jurist of the times. He allowed to hear my case only after stealing gold from the tabernacle .

Who cares of gold there since you are a good worker a master crafts man in stealing , get me my fees as talents

I have no other option but to agree.


A vigilant team has been formed after Jesus sermon there. They caught hold of me and asked me for whom the talents.


If I told them about Aananias and Caiphus  and then told them  I knew them they would have ransacked the temple and buried  me there

I kept cool

They were very much impressed

He is a real roman

They said

He always stood by the accused


But they excommunicated me to a heathen land to suffer for two thousand years

I know the days of redemption has come..


So I recognized him well

Not much difference from our pally days

Dress was blue jeans and white hippy shirt .

Tempted to ask him whether the boys supply hashish to him

Of course gods doesn’t need hashish to get intoxicated

For them every day is a palazhimadanam


I was in Vietnam

They would have the blackest poison used to give quicker kick in the liquour

Was it deadly

Who bothers about the dead?

Others laughed and said sotram sotram and finaaly amen..’

The world has become so religious…




Finally  we recognized each other


That lady should be rewarded he said

She is now fighting against Hybi Eden and Rahul, my god “I told him


He narrated his plight after crucifixion and the subsequent journey through the deserts .




Never mind

I would finish off all the cases poor Rahul should nt be bundled with such cases. How can we call him a helicopter thief  when jets are at his disposal?


I got the shock of life


How would you judge the corrupt in heaven?


In heaven there are no corrupt or sinners al are .Equality  guaranteed minimum wages for all


Suddenly I knew it was the real god before me



Such wisdom ,such knowledge

I offered the 2000 currency notes in my kitty to him and told him to give it to the needy .



Don’t worry , I would take care of it in the next elections

So there would be no more election, I asked him

You man of little faith, he rebuked me

When god rebukes you, you know something good will happen


I asked him would there be floods this year too

He got annoyed

Who said there were floods?

All the tv showed so many drowned


Oh that is man made catastrophe

Don’t blame gods .


My faith in god increased

But don’t act stupid like amicus curie, I told him

Even gods need a safety valve…



Perhaps he might not  know a communist government is ruling here

God again poked me and called me man of little faith ‘

I knew it was his voice

I have heard it from the pulpit several times

Even the cardinal sinner has boasted of it



Barabas,I will confide in you one secret.

Tell me lord, I said

Don’t tell anybody

Not even the ruling front


I knew  a deception game was on

Tell me guru ,I become so professional


Of course, god knows your inside out

In that moment of greediness, he lost all precautions and told me

My son , I know already

I have kept barrels of petrol for you, two oil wells are there for you

One for the good and the second for the bad ,ugly and corrupt


I knew he was testing me

I told him are  nano chips installed there too ?

The politicians have already taken it and what is left out is pure gold.


Man of little faith, he called me  


Tears welled up in my eyes

Such a god

A god who knew how to help his friends



I have some 2000 notes given as offering. Would you get it changed in the election mela


In the dream I thought of hounds and income tax police


“You are not god “I told him

“Give  me some proof”


“Ask me five boons”




Then he asked me



One by one I asked him



Suddenly god become a cloud of  fire amid the  darkness.


That’s how I am here in the French isle selling cheap liqueur for all…


Oh god , your boon !




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